Dilemma: After break up with bf, but u still like him, best not to stay in contact?

Having dilemma now….. maybe I m tired….. or I m thinking too much ….

If ur bf broke up with u, but u still likes him… do u wanna keep in touch with him?

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u still wanna care about him

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u wanna know his new development in his relationship.

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u wanna help him when ever he needed help.

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u hoping to see him more.

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u hoping to hear him more.

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u still hoping got chance tat he will coming back.

U may wanna keep in touch with him coz u hoping one day he realize how much u love him.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u will feel sad just u care him, he dun care u.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u will feel sad after u knew he new development in his relationship.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u if u found out he oni come to u when he needs help, u will feel hurt.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u cant see him more.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u cant hear him more.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u realized he will not coming back.

U may not wanna keep in touch with him coz u realized he wont see how much u loves him.

U may not wanna keep in touch any more coz every time u see him ur heart will be torn into pieces again & again … & u dunno how long u can stay in tat way …..

U may not wanna keep in touch any more coz u will cry and not smile after he say bye bye.

U may not wanna keep in touch any more coz u r still hurt.

U may wanna keep in touch forever coz u love him & u dun afraid of tiredness, sadness, loneliness, the feeling of hurt…. ß this will be the stupidest plu in malaysia :x

Cam

Today so lucky … got 2 ppl show me cam in msn …. Hahaha….

Brownie show me cam…. So surprise ~… haha…. Cute cute dei… so fair… :p sweet sweet de smile…. Got deep deep de dimple… J wear singlet sexy neh~

After Brownie off9 I oso wanna off liao … but suddenly smallpig (xiao zhu) show me cam too …. Haha…. :x

11pm something…. HE miss call…. I called back…. HE needs to borrow money… coz after pay exam fees & room rental… dun hv much money left for daily expenses, go back home town, & go saloon do rebonding… *doink* … no money still wan do rebonding…. >.<” I say can oni borrow HIM half the amount …. Coz I wanna do facial… :p my face a lot pimples jor… L so I think my face more important than HIS hair now…. :x

chat with HIM half way… Brownie called… din answer ….coz engaged with HIM mar :p

after hang up… return call to Brownie… 1^st time talk to Brownie…. A bit gan cheong…. Some more talk English…. >.< …. He says my English got a lot “lar” “mar” “lor” … hahaha…. Haiz … no need so formal lar… :x got “lar” “mar” “lor” can make me more relax mar… then dunno how… we speak mandarin… I laugh his mandarin got Beijing accent…. Coz a bit high key… lol~~ :x …. He felt not comfortable jor…. Coz I laugh him…. then we speak in Cantonese… hehe…. Funny phone chat… J

Quiet Lunch

Wednesday…. Around 9.32am… HE miss called. He asked wanna hv lunch 2gether. I say ok… 1pm I wait HIM out HIS college …. 1.05pm HE came out. I got many thinks wanna ask … but I din open my mouth…. I wanna ask HIM how is HIS family problems? I wanna ask HIM tired at work? I wanna ask HIM why HE din do revision? I wanna ask HIM does HE eat meal on time? I wanna ask HIM does HE eat fruits? I wanna ask HIM got any new target? I wanna ask HIM does HE think of me sometimes? I wanna ask HIM….. so many things …. But I din open my mouth….

About 5.45pm… Yuanfen sms… asked wanna watch Doraemon to9? I say ok.. coz need to relax a bit….

7.45pm reached MV …. At the lift of the parking… saw a leng zai guiding a disable person goto his car J 8.15pm yuanfen saw the same leng zai…. Haha… :p

Many kids was in the cinema… some so cute :x got 3 guys came to watch alone… got 2 guys came 2gether…. Yuanfen & I suspected PLU… wakakaka…. ;p


28th Movie: Doraemon * * ½

1st time watch Doraemon movie in cinema. Entertaining ….



25/08/05 Thursday

At 11.39pm HE miss called. Chatted few minutes… HE says today oso got class … 9am to 5 pm …. HE go lunch with coursemates…. Coz HE dun wan ppl talk about HIM… Talk about HIM din follow them go lunch… =.-“ HE always scared ppl talk about HIM…. 11.48pm hang up… goto bed.

On Leave 2

Monday… went to MV watch 2 movies…. 11.00am I am David & 1.15pm Crying Out Love in the Center of the World


26th Movie: I Am David * * *

Talking about the journey of a boy searching a way to Denmark from Bulgaria. All along the way seems to be too easy… easy escape from the prison… easy way to Italy… easy way to Switzerland … & easy way to Denmark. But it’s still a bit touching when the boy finally meet up with his mom….


27th Movie: Crying Out Love in the Center of the World * * * *

For me it’s a veli touching movie … coz the love in the movie is veli simple … the young Japanese actor is not leng zai …. But I kind of like him…. Muahaha… *^-^* the story is about to let go of the past love …. But watching the movie…. I cant learn anything … coz my story is different… the person tat the character love is dead… :x the pure love in the movie … reminds me of my dream… it delivered me a message tat not every pure love will end up happily ever after…. U hv to let go & move on…. & there will be another person waiting for u….. :)

The question is…. Will you love tat person as much as your love to the first person? Maybe love shouldn’t be compare….

Go back home after movie…. Continue watch Tai Cheong Kam… watch till eyes oso blur jor… later at nite… on9 chat a while…. Discuss the tai cheong kam with Brownie.. :x

On leave

18/08/05 Thursday

HE miss called at 10.10 in the morning... I called back...
HE says wanna return money to me ... ask me go find HIM at lunch time ... HE got class today.
I say ok... HE says this morning the rain makes HIM so cham .... coz umbrella oso broken jor... & the paper bags oso broken... kena rain .. all wet..... me heard liao oso sum tong .... :(

1.10pm HE came out... ... saw HIS hair a bit luan .... & looks tired.... haiz....
everytime see HIM with tired face..... feels like .... wanna hugz & kiss HIM .... *^_^* hehe.. paiseh....

11.30pm... sms HIM ... ask HIM ok mar? got fever kena rain this morning mar? .. no reply..


19/08/05 Friday

today on leave....
morning woke up... thinking wanna do wat.... tot wanna go for hair cut....
later decided go for movie at Mid Valley....

Reached MV at 11.00am .... bought movie ticket.... then go walk walk around....
11.35am... go in cinema



25th Movie : CAMP * * *

Consider a PLU movie gua.... coz got 3 PLU in the movie...
Just a normal teenager movie... got 1 part touching is tat 1 of the character singing a song... singing about wat she is .... & asking her parent to accept wat she is...
One of the PLU oso call Mike.... :X hahaha.... then got a leng zai teasing this Mike... call him Michael, Mike, Mikey..... lol~..... when I heard Mikey..... I laugh... :p the cinema oni got 3 ppl watching this show .... haha....


After movie.... 1.45pm.... go home lu~... go home watch Tai Cheong Kam

Bewitched

24th Movie: Bewitched * * *

Went to watch this movie is because of Nicole Kidman. Not a veli good movie … erm… just so so ….. no surprise in the movie…. & the storyline is actually quite dull….. str8 long hair is much more suitable for Nicole.

Watched this movie with Yuanfen last Friday at 1U… Yuanfen said why so many ppl cut botak now… coz he saw a few ppl botak just now… & got another guy botak next line queuing up buy movie ticket with us ….. after tat then I realized tat guy is my same year de ex schoolmate … I dunno him coz he is the other class… he is quite leng zai de *^-^* Yuanfen say why my batch of ppl … 1975 … looks young… =.-“” Yuanfen joke with me… wah.. met ur school time mong zhong ching yan… >.< muahaha… no lar.. *^-^* then we discuss why he wanna cut botak… then conclusion is he got Mediterranean sea .. :x

Downloaded Drama & Movie

Still downloading Tai Cheong Kam … … then downloading few more movies, 2 young (Jou Sok) Brother I love U, Hostage, Waterboys, Jiok Sing ….

2 young (Jou Sok) – Starring Fiona Sit & Fong Jou Ming…. A simple love story … wanna watch this movie because of the supporting actors… Anthony Wong, Eric Tsang, Hui Siu Hong, Mou Song Kuan, Yu On On …. All oso great in acting… & they did not disappoint me… feeling so good to see they all acting… haha… like Mou Song Kuan veli much…. She is always funny… J

Brother I love u (Korean) – Nice movie…. Talking about children brotherly love… the young actor is a brilliant …. So natural in acting… u dun think he is acting at all …. A touching movie… makes me cry cry …. L

Hostage – not yet watch …. Shud be ok… seen the trailer in the cinema…

Waterboys (Japanese) – muahaha…. Finally let me found this movie…. :x can see Japanese leng zai… performing water dance…. *^-^* ngek ngek …

Jiok Sing - Just wanna see for a laugh.... :)

Sunday & Monday

14/08/05 Sunday

HE miss called. I called back.
He says HE is sad & pressure about family problems.
HE says HE went to LQ on Sat nite.
HE says HE need me to help HIM top up HP credit 1st. (1 week b4 i helped top up jor.. so fast finish.. suprise)
HE says HE need borrow money coz HIS ot & commission not yet out & HE wanna go back hometown tml after class.

After hang up, I top up HP credit for HIM then oni remember I not in office (my office near HIS college) tml but in Hotel at Subang. Thinking wanna take money to HIM now... but oredi later jor... 11.30pm jor... thinking nvm lar... sacrify my buffet lunch @ hotel lor... can take lunch with HIM mar :) ngek ngek....


15/08/05 Monday

12.30pm left hotel goto bank 1st....
1.00pm wait HIM @ college.
1.10pm HE came out.... open the passanger door.... put HIS bag but din get in the car..
HE says wanna go back work place take something & planned to hv lunch with colleagues... *doink*
Then HE ask me have lunch liao mar? I say I later eat alone lor.... HE say "har... oh.. U expect I eat wth u izzit?" ..... I fast fast passed HIM the money.. says nvm lar... u fast fast go lar... then u can go home early...

HE closed the door.. then open again..... ask... "today me wear new shirt, leng zai mou?"
I answered NO, em leng. HE :x then closed the door.
I drive back hotel without take lunch....

HE sms say sorry... next time have lunch with me... I din reply the sms.

Around 4.00pm HE miss called. I called back... tot HE in the bus liao .... but no.. HE says 4.30pm got bus... HE ask whether I still angry... I say yes... & angry till din hv lunch.

After hang up... I sms HIM ... want HIM buy me KFC to replace back....
HE replied ok.. next month ..... this month no money liao...

7.41pm.... HE miss called...... reached hometown jor.

Downloaded Drama & Movie

This few day lazy to write blog ….. haha….

Coz hazy mar… then mar lazy lor…. All blamed the haze… muahaha …

Downloading Jewel in the palace (Tai Cheong Kam) now … then downloaded few movies, ah sou, Stealth, 3 char hao, Green Chair (Korean)…. Then dou yu still not yet finish watching …

Then oso got download Liang Dai Dian Li Gong Shi (super generation) … to laugh laugh lor.. haha ….

Ah Sou – got many super stars…. But wasted …. The story dun allow them to performe… or it is the director’s fault …. Introducing a new actor Loh Zhong Qian, so leng zai… he wearing red cap in the whole movie (not many scene)… at the end oni got chance to see his close up face…. Wah… so leng zai…. Muahahaha…

3 Char Hao – not bad the movie … but still not Power enough … the best between the 3 main actor Arron Kwok, Daniel Wu, Cheng Yi Kin … is Daniel Wu. Arron din perfome well enough … Loh Kar Leong’s acting not bad…

Green Chair – A Korean movie …. not yet finish watching... just watch 15 minutes…. It’s a movie about 32 yrs old women having an affairs with a 18 yrs old boy… the women got sue by the police and been jailed at the end…

Stealth – action movie… not yet finish watch oso … just watch 30 minutes ….

So this few days mar busy watch these drama & movies lor …. :p

No go out, no dating…. No boiboi.. L .. muahaha… :p

hazy.....

So hazy lately.... all must drink more water oh.... :)

after come back from out side... must wash wash face.... :)

tears

I tot i oredi let go jor..... y still crying... tears dropping...

aiks.... y i still cannot let go....

y everytime when HE told me HE got who who who ... interested on HIM .... i still so jeles & not happy....
y there is tears still dropping down.... ?? HE is happy.... i shud be happy for HIM ... but yet....
y m I so sad.......
y i still so care about HIM ....
y time couldn't wash away my memories....
y HE dunno HIS happiness is my sadness .................... ..............

Lights

Wah~.... long long time no blogging.... so lazy .... muahahaha.... :x

erm... wat to say leh.... looking around.... wat happened for the past few days leh? ... blur blur...
hehe

I tot i saw some different lights .... shine through a window .... right through my heart.... but these lights soon becomes dimmer & dimmer... some oredi off .... some still on... but the power of the lights are weak ..... sooner or later they will be off too ....

I hope I can make these lights to generate more power... so that... they are brighten up my heart.... :)

Mon & Tues

1/08/05 Monday

Empty Blog…..

02/08/05 Tuesday

Fansu, Orange Zai & TakashiT …. Went to MV afternoon… Fansu go ask wana join them lunch mar? but dun wan lar…. Too rush jor… 1 hour lunch break oni… L

Then after dinner around 7.15pm… decided goto MV shopping de… so go lu~ …. Have to act quick once decided…. Coz easy to change mind later…. Fast fast change cloth.. then go lu~ ….

Reached MV around 7.45pm gua…. Thinking Fansu still there mar? sms Fansu see got reply mar? ….. if Fansu there will go there spy them…. Muahaha…. But no reply.. :X goto see shoe….. yer~ those shoe tat I chosen dun hv my size…. >.<” but finally got bought 1 lu~ …. Then bought 1 white cap oso…

Then goto S & K .. got 50% discount leh…. Hehe…. Try 1 jeans… dark blue colour… left oni 1… aiks… dun wan lar.. choose another 1… lighter colour de…. A bit lala… haha…. Nvm lar…. Me tall mar… not so obvious de… :p then cin cai take 2 cloths.. shop will 9.10pm …. Go home lu~…

Reached home so back luck…. Reached home 15 mins .. no current…. Wu wu wu ….. then after 5 mins …. Got current back…. Yay~! ….. on9 lu~ ….. then no long after tat … no current again…. Aaarrrrrrggggggg …. Then 2 mins current come back again….. on9 again … cant login irc .. L then no long … NO CURRENT AGAIN!! … so angry … goto bed… lying on bed…. Hot hot hot….. sms Ooby zai….. tell him me so ke lian…. Wu wu wu …. Ooby zai busy playing horror game…. Dun wan entertain me.. hahaha…. So cham …. Cant sleep…. About 10.40pm…. Current comes back… hot till cant sleep…. So go back on9 …. 10.57pm HE miss call…. I call back… chat about HIS family problems… HE so miss & worry HIS mum.. … make me… felt wanna hugz hugz HIM … aiks… cannot cannot… slap slap own self… * paikz piakz *….. ouch…. Pain.. L HE say Friday free mar? HE wan return things to me… I say ok …

On9 till 11.45pm… goto bed lu….

Din sleep well …. coz got a puppy … given to the next door… it keep on barking… & keeping climbing the wall … wanna get back to my house…. ….. keep barking till couldn’t sleep…. After tat … slept jor … then 2.24am.. woke up… puppy still barking… barked till voice oso changed jor… so ke lian it… but me more ke lian ….. cant sleep leh…. Roll roll roll ….. roll till dunno wat time …. Then 6am something woke up again… aiks…. Panda eyes …. Wu wu wu wu ………..

Summary Again lor~

29/07/05 Friday

Planned to go buy pant at MV at nite…. Then will watch 7 swords there…. But at noon HE sms ask can borrow something mar? I say ok… will go fetch HIM fong gong to9 lor… So will cancel movie at MV… just plan to go buy pant lor…. Then ask HIM wat time fong gong … I go fetch HIM lor… HE say 6.00pm …. Oh~… cannot go MV jor… so dun go lor… So I 7.00pm go HIS place then we go dinner lor… Then go to bank… then goto Watson.. then HE go CC on9… I go home…. Around 9.00pm.

Sms the cute fren free on Sunday watch movie mar? ….. no reply… maybe no credit jor…

30/07/05 Saturday

Empty Blog… coz stay home rotting…

31/07/05 Sunday

woke up around 9.30am… thinking wanna go cinema watch movie mou? Then go on9…. Then my download finished jor…. A movie “the dreamers” … so mar watch 1^st lor… wah… the movie so ..erm… HOT~…. Haha… many naked scenes oh… :x the actor & actress…. Naked fully leh… :x some more can see clearly the actor de didi… some more the didi is hard jor :p *^-^*

watched till around 12.00pm something… then saw Fansu on9 …. Fansu just woke up oh… slept till so late hor~ :p …. Then see Fansu say dunno wat to eat… so mar ask Fansu wan eat McD mar… we goto tmn Conaught de McD lor… Fansu say ok .. so we planned meet at LRT at 1.35pm lor…

Reached LRT at 1.33pm… hehe…. Fansu late jor!!! … :p Say b4 if Fansu late cannot eat Mc Flurry Oreo de… muahaha…. But ok lar… forgive Fansu lar… J give him eat lar…

Many ppl in the McD tmn Conaught oh…. Lucky got parking…. Fansu go find seat 1^st…. Me queue up buy lor… my line so long…. =.-“” waited long time… but behind me got a cute zai .. hahaha…. Fansu oso got noticed de… ;p

After tat…. Fansu & I busy kap kap the cute zai lor… coz no ppl kap kap jor mar… muahahaha…. The cute zai came with family… so guai … pui family eat lunch … hehe…. He sit behind Fansu on Fansu right side… Fansu need to turn right to kap ppl … :p me no need… me turn 9 o’clock then can kap jor… wakakaka… :x

Then the cute zai go take chili & tomato source … walk behind Fansu to Fansu left side .. Fansu dunno…. Then I pretend got something interesting behind Fansu de left side… ask Fansu see see ….. Fansu blur blur turn behind…. Saw the cute zai … Fansu pai seh …. Hahaha …. So funny ….. :x then the cute zai return his seat jor.. then few second… the cute zai again go take source…. Fansu dunno…. I ask Fansu see see again …. Fansu oso blur blur turn behind see … saw the cute zai again … wakakaka… Fansu pai seh again …. J yeah~

Then I take Fansu de hp try take the cute zai pic …. But failed… too many ppl blocking….. aiks.. L then the cute zai leave lu ….

No ppl kap jor….

After a while… got a blue shirt guy …. Cute more to leng… but came with gal fren .. :x then Fansu say behind me came a white shirt guy … a bit looks like cp de erere_waiting …. Haha… erm… but I see no wor… haha… when hv a clearer look… Fansu oso agree dun looks like him…. :x

Then we go home lor…. Around 3.00pm …

Backed home watch Taiwanese drama Dou Yu …

Vans called at 8.32pm …. Otw back from JB de pc fair…. Talking about the laptop he saw… wah … ppl wanna buy laptop jor… :p few mins after talking … my housing area suddenly black out…. L no current leh… HOT HOT HOT …. Then vans hp low battery jor…. So hang up….

Cannot watch tv, cannot on9…. So go out side play play with puppy … then come back in… lying on the floor… day dream ….

9.45pm… current back … go bath bath … then on9 back …

10.53pm … HE miss call …. Called HIM back… HE ask can upload credit for HIM mar… coz late jor & lazy go out buy reload card…. HE wanna call back home …. I say ok… reload the credit through my hp lor.. then hang up … sms maxis to reload for HIM … but maxis got problems … cannot reload through postpaid at the moment… need to try again later… so sms HIM say maxis got problems now …

11.19pm …. Called HIM again…. Ask HIM got go out buy reload card liao mar? wan me try reload again mar? HE say nvm … HE miss call mum… hope HIS mum call back ..

11.45pm … sleep lur…