Monday :
Today is H b'day. I dunno he will call me for dinner or not coz he told me he will be going out with fren. I actually prepared to celebrate with him some other day. Later in the evening, around 6.00pm, H called me... telling me he can hv dinner with me. I was surprised. I went to picked him up around 7.40pm.... otw to Mid Valley.... H told me he actually attached with that leng zai after we broke up.... but after attached with him.... it seems tat they dun hv common topic to talk about.... They finally agreed to broke up today. I felt that he was down and sad of coz...... erm..... chosen his own b'day to break up.... H said that now he likes guy that is younger than him .....
We went to Sushi King for dinner..... on the way going up to the 3rd floor.... I felt like wanna hug him so tight.... but of coz i din ..... :p After dinner, I take him to tour around KL .... sit on the car ..... make him feel better.... stay with him a little while longer .....
On the way sending him back, he told me he may wanna buy a new bag for study & work. When reached his place.... I gave him the sling bag that I bought..... He was surprised.... I was happy that I bought him the rite gift... :)
Went back home.... couldn't sleep..... so on9 for a while.... received a miss call from Hush (Thomas), an IRC fren, we chat for more then half an hour .... OMG ... he felt Earth Quake ... After hang up, I called H ...... he din answer ... shud hv fall a sleep oredi .... thinking tat he shud be ok .... coz stilll can sleep ....
Tuesday:
Been thinking a lot.... shud I tell H that I still like him a lot....... ?? Asking frens for some views ... erm... some fren encourage me try again... win his heart back... some fren said ... give more time dun too rush ....
Deep down in my heart.... I told my self.... just keep to myself... I love him... love him from far far away ..... dun get too close..... he is not mature enough to understand love .... when ever he needed me... I will be there to support him .... that's enough ..... I want him to be happy...
Later at nite.... H miss call me .... he cried.... he says today he is not happy coz been thinking about the leng zai.... I told him just broke up is like tat ..... he told me .... the feeling is weird... coz is not the type that hurt veli much ... but when thinking back ... the heart is upset.....
H ask me... did he hurted me a lot when he broke up with me..... I din answer directly .... I just told him ... I hv written all my feelings in the blog.... a place for me to released out my pain ....
H ask me... how I got over the sadness and forgot about the past ..... I say time... let time decide... but you oso must not think too much .... you must telling ur self.... u will be ok... motivation is another thing that we need....
H ask me... how I get over the love.... I hesitated to answer tat .... coz I dun wanna lie .... but finally I told him ... I still like him... I waiting him to come back to me.... He told me again now he likes younger boi .... I might not get anything in return even I give out my love to him .... I said I know that ..... I dun expect anything in return .... just to see him happy.... that's all I want now ....
H say .... erm... then if he attached with other boi in future, will I be sad? I told him, yupe... I will be not happy but I will be ok .... not all the things happen in this world is fair.... I like you, you dun like me.... it happens around us all the time ..... I ask him dun easily fall into ppl when ppl treat him good....
I felt relief ... after I told him my feelings now... even I know now he dun hv feeling on me.... coz from now on... I no need pretend any more.... he know I still like him .... & I will keep remind him tat.... :p I no need to hide my love ....
I know I might getting nothing in return .... but as long as I m seeing him doing ok... I m happy... of coz deep down from my heart... that's a little place for me to keep a hope tat.... one day ... he might come back to me.... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... a little little hope.... I m sure that's normal..... :p
Hey.... If you are reading this ..... which I doubt you will .... coz you dunno my blog add... :p no matter wat happen... that's a person who love you.... will be always there for you.... I m glad that you talk to me last nite when you are down.... take care....
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