The searching must go on?

18 June 2006 Sunday

For about 2 months… I tot I could end my love search…. Coz I found some one who got feelings on each other…. But unfortunately …. the timing is not right….. he have no time for me to pak tor… coz at 1st he was convinced he could spend time for me but now he really busy in his study…. He says it’s unfair to me to let me keep waiting …. Sigh…. I understand or I dun understand wat I understand…. :x for the mean time, we just remain fren lu….

I am in a dilemma should I wait for him?.... or my love search must go on? …..

While thinking of this…. Tears dropped & hardly fall sleep… lying on bed from 2am till 7am…. In between… sleepless…. Sent an sms to Fansu at the far far land….

7.30am woke up online msn… lucky got Fansu there entertain me …. :X Thank you Fansu…. Although Fansu now at so far jor…. But he still the one most understand my feelings geh…. Scorpio de characteristic very strong :x … after some chatting & ejek ejek Fansu … feelings better jor … keke…..

Chat till 10am something gua…. Then Fansu goto bed lu …. In between Fansu was away on the phone with dad ….. :X …..

Started my drama marathon until 4pm… then goto take nap…. Coz really tired jor… beh tahan jor… & got a bit headache…..

B4 tat saw Mr Brownie Leng Leng online msn… chat a while…. Brownie say y I no call him when I was sleepless? …. I say 2am wor…. Sure he slept like pig jor lu tat time….. Brownie says no wor… he was having tele-conversation with some one from 1am till 4am… =.-“ cheh…. Then still ask me call wat leh??!! Oredi on the phone fatt hiao with other ppl jor … :X …. Keke…. :p

Woke up at 6.10pm… felt so lost…. like suddenly life have no target jor… walao… so scary the feeling…..

Online msn ….. ei ei…. Fansu oso woke up jor :X told Fansu the scary feeling…. Fansu say should not put love as life target … :x In Malaysia, average life expectancy for male is 70.9 years old…. I minus 31 years ….. I still have 39 years only wor…. If now I dun put my main target as love search then need wait until when wor? :x ….. ops….. become desperate house husband jor tim….. :(

Evening chatted with CB ….. he facing relationship problem again… same problem as b4…. :x but with another person…. Bf suddenly MIA (missing in action) jor…. Din answer his call or reply his sms for 1 week jor…. :X he asked izzit every plu wanna break up oso will be like this? … I asked him 2 questions 1) how many ex his bf had? 2) about how long each ex were attached? The answer was 1) not less 2) got 1 or 2 was 1 to 2 years….. I told him not need wait jor… coz very obvious his bf are avoiding him … where got bf suddenly no contact for a week geh ? :X but CB give his bf time until 30 June…. After this he say he wont trust any one any more …….. :x sigh…. This process will be non stop in plu circle…. Everyday will hv ppl get cheated & the person who been cheated will revenge on another person… :x everyday will have a plu been hurt and become to hurting ppl ….

Meanwhile …. Vans & bf dunno wanna go where to celebrate their dunno 10 or 11 months anniversary….. :x …..

It’s like a plu drama :x …. 1 couple facing problem… 1 couple having their sweet time & 1 still single become desperate house husband… :x ….

Fansu ask me need to collect feathers again mar? ….. I say no need … coz I learned to hide the wings like the Angel in the X-Men III …. :X …. Now I just spread my wings & fly into the sky …..